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💕💕❤️❤️💖💖😍😍😘😘🥰🥰💕💕❤️❤️💖💖 Our story starts off at an annual neighborhood barbecue to kick off the warm weather. A pretty nice one too. You might think Jim's backyard looks like a landscaping company had been given a dangerous amount of money. But that would be a bad guess. The man actually spends an inordinate amount of time working in his backyard. The grass is clipped short enough to shame every other lawn on the street, even my own. There are raised planters along the fence, featuring herbs and little vegetables growing in tidy rows. A small gazebo sits near the back corner of the yard, strung with warm little lights even though the sun is still out. The whole place smells like charcoal, beer, sunscreen, and summer arriving in Scarsdale. I'm standing near the side of the deck with the boys, holding a paper plate in one hand and a beer in the other, listening to Ron explain why the Spurs are the most frightening young team in the league, as if he had been personally hired as hypeman by their front office. "You don't understand," Ron says, pushing his glasses up his nose. "That team is going to be a problem. A bunch of young guys with veteran pedigree." Ron has been my best friend since we were kids. Always been a big Black dude. Soft around the middle now, but still the same guy who once broke his wrist in a scuffle with some asshole who never gave up a chance to hurl insults at our crew. "I'm just saying," Theo says, leaning against the deck railing, "the Thunder have the MVP." "I'd take the alien any day of the week," Jim adds. "You guys know the Knicks are in the playoff this year too, right?" I ask. Theo lives in New York City now. Managed to end up a big-shot writer. Some actual books, interviews and literature festival shit. Still somehow finds time to come back and hang with us degenerates every summer. So proud of the guy. Jim is our host. Tall, white, and someone we have not known since high school. Doesn't matter though, would still put him down as my emergency contact. Mr. Reliable since the day we met. Honestly, I'm having a damn good time. Feels like one of those moments you don't appreciate enough while you're living it. Then we hear the lovebirds. "You should have told me!" Every guy in the circle looks toward the side gate. Charlie comes in first. Full head of steam. Kate follows right behind him. "You don't just buy a car without talking to your fucking wife first, Charlie!" Charlie turns halfway around, already red-faced. "You wanna do this here?" "No, actually, this would've been a fantastic thing to discuss before you actually bought the damn thing!'" Theo slowly lowers his beer. Ron whispers to me, "Uh oh." Charlie's alleged purchase, which he had been musing about non-stop for the past week, is probably that Nissan Altima he'd been obsessing over. Exactly the kind of car a man buys to announce to the world that his knees still technically work. "We'll talk later," Kate snaps. Charlie walks right into the group circle as if he didn't just stroll into the yard guns blazing. "Hey boys! What'd I miss?" There's a pathetic response of head nods around the group. Charlie has the confidence of a guy who looks like Chris Hemsworth, despite frankly looking like quite the opposite. Biggest gut in the neighborhood. Balding more aggressively than the rest of us thirty-year-olds. Not what you'd call attractive by any stretch of the imagination. "Women," Charlie says, snatching a beer Jim had set down a few minutes ago. "Am I right?" Did he genuinely expect us to back him on that? "Everything okay, man?" I ask. Charlie waves me off. "Yeah, yeah. She's pissed because I made a call without consulting the board apparently." "Marriage tends to involve that kind of communication," Theo mutters. Charlie ignores him. "End of the day," he continues, "I'm the man of the house bringing in the big bucks." Ron blinks. "Brother, you're a trucker who hasn't had a gig in months." Conveniently, it's at this point that Charlie takes a long, long swig from his bottle. Without warning, Lana appears to my left. And the entire atmosphere changes. She has a platter of hot dogs in her hands and this ridiculous apron tied over her clothes. One of Jim's many gag aprons, and this one was designed to look like a shredded female bodybuilder wearing a bikini. The problem was it's probably mean to be worn by a guy, and definitely has a... different effect when worn by my beautiful wife. "Fresh off the grill, boys," she announces. Then she steps a bit closer and wraps an arm around my back. Four years of marriage. She still bumps my heart rate every. Single Time. Lana is objectively gorgeous. Like that real-life, no-filter gorgeous. The kind that catches men mid-sentence, leaving them wondering where they were going with a thought. Her long brown hair spills over her shoulders. She glances up at me with big brown eyes that have this soft, innocent warmth to them that makes people trust her almost immediately. That made me fall in love with her almost immediately. She's got thick thighs from years of beach volleyball and jogging around the neighborhood, paired with a soft little waist. And her ass... Lord Almighty. Lana had the kind of ass that yoga pants were invented for. Full, round, and ridiculous in the most perfect way. Which is a long way of saying that Lana has the kind of body that looked incredible in absolutely anything, and positively insane in one of Jim's stupid sexy aprons. Her outfit underneath wasn't helping either. White t-shirt, little shorts, showcasing just enough of her sun-kissed skin. Normally, she'd be covered up a bit more, but the sun had different plans today. Charlie whistles. This guy. At least every other dude has the decency to steal a quick glance at the goods before grabbing a hot dog. "Damn Lana," he says. "I wouldn't be surprised if that's how you actually looked under there! Feel like taking a trip to a nude beach this year?" Lana's smile tightens. Jim and Theo looked mortified on behalf of all half-decent men. I'm thinking about how many years it's been since I've had a chance to try my left hook. Something... weird also stirs inside me, but I swallow that. "What?" Charlie asks defensively. "I'm joking. Wow. Can nobody take a joke around here anymore?" I should've said something. I know that. But the ugly truth? Some small part of me understands the reaction. Lana and I do get it everywhere. Maybe not as... crass as Charlie, but Lana just elicits reactions. Lana rolls her eyes. "I've already got a man Charlie, and he's the only one allowed to take a peek under the hood." That gets a couple barks of laughter out of the guys, mostly because nobody expected her to fire back like that. And honestly? I don't think she did either. I can tell immediately, spotting the emerging pinks in her cheeks. Lana's always been adorable like that. Gorgeous enough to make every head turn whenever she strolls into a room, but still somehow painfully innocent whenever anyone actually flirts with her. I've seen her actually duck her head more than a few times, laughs awkwardly, and escape the situation as fast as humanly possible. Lucky for me, she usually finds refuge in my arms. But this is Charlie. We've known Charlie for years, same with almost everyone here today. And I'm standing right beside her. So instead of retreating, Lana just keeps blushing while swinging the platter around to hand out the remaining hot dogs. Theo grabs one with this deeply impressed look on his face. "That was cold, Lana." Ron nearly snorts beer through his nose laughing. Meanwhile Charlie blows a raspberry, raises his hands in defeat, and walks toward the screen door of Jim's home. Before he leaves, I spy Lana shooting him a sharp side-eye. She gives me a nervous kiss on the cheek before heading back toward the gazebo where the wives are gathered. Becky is there already. Loud, blond, infectious energy condensed into human form. Been the same way since she was fourteen. Jim's wife and the real estate agent who landed Lana and me into the neighborhood. I am honestly forever grateful. Ron's girlfriend of two months, Maya is sitting beside her. Gorgeous, Black, and curvy in all the ways Ron described his perfect woman way back in Mr. Ventura's Math class. It was his favorite time to do so, because numbers and equations never really caught his eye in the same way a woman could. Theo's girlfriend Jackie wasn't around today, but honestly, the one time Lana and I met her, we both thought she could very well be a runway model. Kate's standing with the women now too, maintaining a death glare in Charlie's direction, even as he enters the back door of Jim and Becky's home. Honestly? Kate was pretty too, a girl-next-door type brunette with a cute face. But she had one of those shrill voices that made every sentence sound like the beginning of an argument. Or maybe living with someone like Charlie changes a woman into that. The party recovered a little bit after Charlie went to the washroom. Music none of the Gen Z's would recognize blaring over the speakers, beer magically disappearing, and Charlie talking about the new Altima way too much. You'd think he was stepping out on Kate and sticking his dick in the car muffler. "Alright everyone," Jim announces. "Game's starting." He looks toward the women. "You ladies good out here?" Becky waved him off immediately. "We're not watching sweaty dudes fight over balls for three hours." "That is a gross reductive take on the game of basketball, honey," Jim responds. "Love you!" Becky replies. The guys started heading inside. I glanced back once before stepping through the sliding door. Lana is laughing at something Maya is recounting. The backyard lights just turned on. Her skin looks golden, and her? Beautiful and happy. And somehow, mine. It's cliché, but many days I really do feel the luckiest guy alive. --- By the time we leave Becky's, the whole neighborhood smells like smoke and barbecue. It's a pretty pleasant smell. I'm holding Wayne's hand. He's been musing about basketball since we stepped onto the street. I understand maybe twelve percent of it. "So who do they play next?" I ask. "Probably the Pistons. But who knows, Cleveland's got a pretty explosive backcourt." That's a little confusing. "They... have bad gas?" Wayne laughs. "Thank you for pretending to care, baby." "I do care." "You care about me caring." "Exactly!" I stare up at Wayne and smile. My handsome guy. He isn't the type most women immediately notice. But that's part of why I fell for him. Tousled dark hair. Glasses, and a sweet smile. Pretty athletic for someone that sits behind a desk all day, thanks to his gym membership and history on various sports teams back in high school and college. He's someone people accidentally underestimate before they get to talking to him. We met in high school. We were each other's first loves. First everything, now that I think about it. I heard horror stories earlier from Maya about the modern dating scene, and every single one made me want to kiss Wayne right on the mouth for not being a raging psychopath. Pretty low bar to be honest, but he clears it pretty easily. After a minute, we're at our front door, and he's still talking about defensive matchups as I get the key in the door. I've mostly been watching his adorable face while he talks. He seems to notice now. "What?" he asks, tilting his head. "You're cute when you ramble." "I thought I was always cute." I giggle a little. When we step inside, he stretches and groans. "I need a shower. I smell like something fierce." I step closer. "Maybe I could... join you?" I place a hand on his chest. "You know I love the way you smell after a long day." That gets me the smile. A very real one. "Gross! You still like my musk?" "Always." We kiss. It's slow, warm, comfortable. "Alright, Lana, I'll meet you in the shower." He plants another gentle kiss on my forehead. "Oh, and can you grab towels from my office? I folded all the laundry yesterday after I got home. You left the basket in the hallway." I stare at him. "Marry me again." "No." "But why?" I look up at him and pout. "That shit was expensive, babe." I laugh and head toward his office, as I hear him sprint up the stairs. Wayne's office is... chaos. There are open books strewn everywhere, papers and important-looking documents covering most of the hardwood, and used coffee mugs lining his desk. I tiptoe around a stack of... everything towards the laundry basket near his desk and grab a folded towel. Then I notice the glow. His laptop is half-open. I should close it. But a part of me is curious. All these years and I always go out of my way not to even peek at his screen or his phone. Well, Wayne's not around now and I'm feeling a little naughty. I lift the lid. Just enough to read the title of the paused video: Cuckolding Wife drenches her Bull's Cock in front of hubby I stare. Then stare harder. I know it's porn. Honestly? The fact that Wayne watches porn doesn't shock me. Men watch porn. I don't, but I always assumed he did. But I've never heard these terms before. The paused video shows this gorgeous, fit blond riding a gigantic... thing while the cameraman is off to the side. That thing is... huge. Huge like I don't even know how she's fitting that inside of her. I feel something weird twist in my stomach. But I keep staring at the screen for another few seconds. The more I look, the more my stomach twists itself into nervous little knots. Maybe I'm misunderstanding something. Maybe it's one of those weird internet titles that doesn't actually mean what it sounds like. Maybe this is some bizarre ad that came up by accident while Wayne was browsing his actual porn? Honestly, that has to be it. Because the alternative makes absolutely no sense. Wayne loves me. When we're both home he practically follows me around the house like an affectionate golden retriever. There's no world where my husband secretly gets off on the thought of me sleeping with another guy. Right? I shut the laptop back to halfway. Then immediately open it again. My brain refuses to let it go. I don't know if I'm angry, or something I just don't understand yet. Wayne and I tell each other everything. Or... at least I thought we did. Sure, we don't sit around discussing his porn preferences over breakfast, but still. My chest tightens. Then another thought hits me. Oh no. Oh no, oh no. Is he unhappy? The idea lands so hard it physically hurts. I look down at myself. My body, my arms, my thighs. I'm pretty fit too, but the woman in the video looks nothing like me. Blond. Huge, enormous knockers. She also looks like she goes to the gym twice a day. I suddenly feel embarrassed standing alone in Wayne's office for reasons I can't fully explain. No. No, stop. This is Wayne. My Wayne. The man who still grabs my ass in the kitchen every time he walks by, like a kid in a candy store. The man who still gets flustered if I change in front of him too slowly. So what the fuck is this? I pick up the laptop. My heart is pounding now. I head upstairs at a brisk pace, anxiety creeping higher with every step. The second-floor hallway is dim except for the bathroom light spilling across the floor. Steam curls lazily through the cracked door. Wayne's inside humming to himself horribly off-key. For one stupid second, I almost turn around. Maybe I should just close it back up? Pretend I never saw it. But then another image flashes into my head. My husband is watching me. I'm on the bed with... that enormous thing from the video. What. The. Fuck. I push the door, striding in the bathroom with purpose. "Hey beautiful," Wayne calls from behind the shower curtain. "You ready to join me for some-" I cough, loudly. Then the curtain shifts. Wayne peeks out with wet hair hanging into his eyes and the easiest smile in the world. Until he sees the laptop. The smile dies. His eyes widen. Which tells me that whatever this is? It's his. He knows I've seen his porn. A horrible little pit forms in my stomach. I hold the laptop up slightly. My voice comes out calmer than I actually feel. "Wayne," I start. "What's a cuckold?" --- She caught me with my pants down. And everything else too, actually. That is the first dumb thought I manage after Lana leaves the bathroom with me standing in the shower, and her question hanging ominously in the rising steam. What's a cuckold? There are things I'd much rather be caught by my wife for. A bank robbery, maybe. A small-scale fraud scheme involving Canadian maple syrup. But not porn. And I don't mean regular porn either. Like the boring, forgivable stuff a man could shrug away. No. I think this morning I decided to dive into a more hardcore category to get a quick one off before heading over to barbecue. But I swear to God I at least closed the lid on that thing!? I turn the shower off and stand there for a few seconds, dripping onto the tile, listening to the house. Nothing. No slamming doors. No drawers being opened with violent purpose. Even after seeing my worst shit, Lana is still being the angel she is. I towel off with my old clothes and put on clean boxers and an old t-shirt I had grabbed before starting the shower. My brain keeps spiraling into catastrophe after catastrophe, each one somehow worse than the last. One minute I'm imagining Lana crying in our kitchen, the next I'm picturing lawyers dividing up furniture while I try explaining to Ron that yes, technically porn did end my marriage. The bedroom light is off when I step inside. Lana is in bed, lying on her side, facing away from me. The blinds are open just enough to let in the streetlights from outside. Thin orange bars cut across the wall and the dresser. Normally, our bedroom feels safe and warm. A little messy, of course. A little lived in. Tonight, it feels like a sterile, hospital waiting room. I stand near the doorway for far too long. Lana does not turn around. "Lana?" My voice comes out carefully. "I'm thinking, Wayne." Okay, right. I am in trouble. I get into bed as gently as possible, which is ridiculously futile because the creaky IKEA frame shifts noisily under me, and I knew it would do that. Lana's shoulders tense. I stare at the ceiling. A few minutes pass, and I hear a car drive by outside. Then another. Somewhere down the block, a dog barks once, settles his affairs, and stops. I fold my hands over my stomach. Unfold them. Fold them again. "Do you want a divorce?" she asks. The question punches the air right out of my lungs. "What? Absolutely not!" She still doesn't turn around. "Do you want to see other people?" "No, babe. I don't." "Sleep with other women?" "No. Lana, no." My voice cracks on her name. That finally makes her move. She rolls onto her back and stares up at the ceiling as well. Her face is in profile, mostly shadow, but I can see wetness in her eyes.